The Liberating Truth: Part 2

"Mastering others is strength, mastering yourself is true power." - Lao Tzu

A couple of days ago, we talked about the powerful and liberating truth that no one is coming to save you, and we focused on building your muscle of self-advocacy. Today, we're going to dive into the second crucial step in this journey: healthy self-soothing.

The emotional waves of divorce don't just crash on you; they can pull you under. When you’re feeling raw and exposed, the temptation is to reach for an external quick fix. Maybe it's excessive drinking, endless scrolling, or relying on someone else for constant reassurance. These are a few of the many ways we try to numb the pain, but they're not solutions. They're temporary band-aids that leave you feeling more dependent and less in control.

Healthy self-soothing is about doing the real work. It’s about building an internal toolkit to navigate loneliness, anxiety, and sadness head-on. It’s about being your own soft place to land.

Your Self-Soothing Toolkit

Instead of running from the pain, here's how you can learn to comfort and nurture yourself in healthy, powerful ways:

• Move Your Body: You don't have to train for a marathon. A twenty-minute walk, a session at the gym, or even just stretching in your living room can release stress and change your state. Your body holds a lot of the stress you’re feeling; movement is one of the fastest ways to release it.

• Create a Safe Space for Emotion: This is where you allow yourself to feel without judgment. Maybe it's through meditation, journaling, or just sitting quietly with your emotions. This isn't about wallowing; it's about acknowledging what you're feeling so you can process it and move through it.

• Invest in a Hobby: Remember the things you used to love to do? Get back to them. Whether it's playing an instrument, building something with your hands, or getting back into fishing, a hobby gives you a healthy distraction and a sense of purpose beyond your pain.

• Nurture the Man in the Mirror: The small acts of self-care matter. Prioritize your sleep, eat food that fuels you, and stay hydrated. These foundational habits are a powerful way of telling yourself, "I'm worth the effort."

  
  

By building these habits, you aren't just coping; you're building resilience. You're learning to depend on yourself for emotional regulation, which is one of the most empowering skills you can develop in this new chapter. This is what it means to truly save yourself.